Cut Myself on Angel's Hair and Baby's Breath
by nessa-melwasul
Summary: Missing scene that takes place between Apollo and Starbuck.


Haven't seen the mini-series, in love with the series. Missing scene to be inserted towards the end of the 1/28 episode, whose name I sadly cannot remember. All reviews and flames are loved.

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"Now, get out of my office... While you still can."

_Frack. Frackfrackfrackfrackfrack. Frack. I'm crying. Frack._

But she still left. How could she not? She blundered blindly down hallways and corridors, only vaguely aware of where her feet were taking her; the thoughts in her head spinning faster than anything. _Loves me like a daughter, does he? Oh yeah, sure, sure, cos I'm sure I saw so much love in that face. Yeah frackin' right. Gods, he practically threatened to kill me back there. 'While you still can'? Frack. Frackfrackfrack._ Soon enough, she found herself outside Captain Lee Adama's doorway, knocking softly on it. _Great. What am I supposed to tell him? That---_ The door slid open, interrupting her train of thought. He was just standing there, not saying anything, staring at her. _Frack_, she thought.

"C-Captain Adama, I... I um..."

He sighed wearily, running a hand through his hair. What was he supposed to do now? Whose side was he supposed to be on, Starbuck's or his father's? _I didn't know we were picking sides_, he thought bitterly, recalling earlier words. _But I guess that's the hard part about working with family._ She looked horrible. _No, that's an understatement - she looks like shit._ Her eyes were so red from crying it looked as though she'd run into a door, her hair was everywhere, her shoulders were slumped, she wasn't carrying herself in her usual proud manner. The tears were falling so rapidly it looked like dual waterfalls springing from pretty eyes. He sighed again, frowning grimly. _Well, this should be fun._ He stepped out of the doorway, slipping an arm around her waist, escorting her gently through the door.

"Come in, please, Starbuck."

She was, to say the least, surprised by the lack of hard, malicious anger. Like his father. But she was coming to learn that he wasn't as like to his father as she had once thought. She bit her lip, fruitlessly attempting to make the tears stop coming. They didn't. The door closed behind them with a barely-audible swoosh. Furbished much like his father's office, Lee too had a large couch, which he shepherded her towards. His arm never left her waist, something else that surprised her. She tipped her head back against the cool couch back, closing her eyes to the ceiling.

"Frack," she murmured, breathing through her nose, trying to control herself. She couldn't.

"Shhhh, sh, it's okay, Kara, it's okay..." It wasn't his fault. None of his was his fault. It was all on her. So, why was he feeling so acutely guilty? _This is about Zac_, he thought, aware of her laying her head on his shoulder, crying bitterly. _This is about Zac, and now Dad knows what she did because she loved Zac, and now it's going to be hell. Now he's going to blame her for Zac's death, as if it wasn't already bad enough that she blames herself. Well, frack, as far as that goes, I even blame her. But I'm not mad at her. Not anymore._ He sighed. "I'm sorry, Kara. I should've just... I should've just told him. I didn't think he'd..." He paused, thinking for a moment. "What DID he say to you, Starbuck?"

She sighed, disgusting a chest-wrenching sob with a harsh laugh. "He said..." She swallowed, closing her eyes, collecting herself, hardening her voice. Yet, when she spoke again, it was very soft. "He said, 'Get out of my office while you still can.'" Running a hand through cropped blonde hair, "Does that about sum it up for you, Apollo?"

He frowned. "Uh huh. Yeah, I... know what you mean." Imitating her, he ran his hand through her hair, brushing tears from her cheeks with the side of his thumb. "Exactly what you mean." He paused, quiet for a moment. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone to him." The guilt was setting in again.

Shaking her head, she said, "No, no Lee, you did the right thing. A good captain always follows his instinct. Besides... he deserved to know. He deserved to know," she repeated, as though trying to convince herself. Really, she meant it, but she was scared -- just as scared as she knew Lee had to be, at times. "Besides, I have to do the work. You said it yourself, we need the pilots. I guess the only thing I can do is my job. And not let personal feelings get in the way."

That was the end of the conversation, he knew it was. They sat for a few minutes, quiet, leaning into each other, remembering, thinking. "Well," he said after a time, "you're damn good at doing your job, so all I can tell you is 'good hunting.'" They both stood up at the same time, regarding each other pensively before grabbing each other into a tight embrace. "Good hunting," he whispered in her ear.

When they let go, she shoved a strand of hair behind her ear, setting her shoulders resolutely. "I have to go do my job," she said, her tone totally Starbuck. She walked to the door with him.

He paused in the doorway, looking at her seriously. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

She laughed. "Oh, I won't."

"Good."

On impulse, she took his hand. With a whisper of, "Thanks," she walked away, letting her fingers slip through his. He sighed, glancing behind him for a few seconds, watching her retreating figure. She didn't look back.


End file.
